literally had 100 drinks last night.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The feeling are messing with the penis
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
