he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
