You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
