My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
