I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
