i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
