Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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