you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
