How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
