I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
