turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
