I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
