spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
