is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize