Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She told me I should be a condom model.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
