i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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