So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
