escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
