im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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