fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
