That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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