when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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