Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this will be a night to untag.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
