I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
