i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
