Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
