I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My penis needs a shock collar
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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