Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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