His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
