Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
