my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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