I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
