i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
