We're facebook friends in real life
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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