they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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