U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
