I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
