i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
