i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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