Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
