he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
