the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
