We're facebook friends in real life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I FOUND THE LEGS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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