You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
