It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
