I wish I only lived at night.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
