Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
