I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
