One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
