i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
