just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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