what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
