i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
