I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
