he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
