I don't think brook has ever known best
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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