so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
