My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
