I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
