Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
